Fighting Against Oneself

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Dear Reader,

Praised be Jesus and Mary!

Amazed at my siblings’ concentration, I snapped a photo of my sister while watching Lee Min Ho in Faith, a Korean drama.

I had three thoughts while looking at the photo:

1) Joy and Norman, my siblings, approve of my taste in movies and TV shows. After watching one of the movies I have, they asked for more. Now, they are so engrossed at it.

2) Lee Min Ho is a very good actor. I watch his shows not because he is good looking, but because he really is a good actor. In each of his roles, I see a different person living in different worlds. His acting makes me laugh, cry, worry, angry…etc.

3) Lastly, and most importantly, the line accidentally captured in the subtitle in the picture above is very striking!! It brought me to a reflection.

Indeed, fighting against oneself is very common and yet it is very difficult.

I hate my weaknesses. I hate it when I fall into temptations. I hate it when I become egocentric and end up hurting and offending someone I love. I hate it when I lose my temper and fight against my siblings. I hate it when I’m lazy and irresponsible.

What can I do?

All I can do is fight against myself. All I can do is convince myself that falling into temptation of sin will make my good and merciful Lord sad. All I can do is pray and beg for God to help me. I try not to hate myself, but I try to fight against myself.

It is a difficult battle.

I shall not surrender no matter how many times I fall.

Sincerely,
Kristine G. Veneracion

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